


I wish that I could be like the cool kids

by Zanevns



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Bullying, F/M, Genderfluid Yamaguchi Tadashi, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-15 01:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11220714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zanevns/pseuds/Zanevns
Summary: In which Tadashi is kind of genderfluid and Kei unfortunately has a girlfriend.





	1. Wish I'd been a prom queen

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, I just wanted to have fun messing around with Yama-cutiepie-guchi and the others. Also, English isn't my first language so there might be some mistakes. Please, let me know.  
> Hope you enjoy.

Tadashi sighed, rubbing his hands on the jeans that fit tightly around his thighs. _Ugh_ , he honestly wanted to cry, but he was actually sitting at a table in the cafeteria and making a scene just for _that_ would have been pathetic. He was pathetic enough on his own. He failed one of his exams. Again. For the second time in a year. One of those that he considered most technical and out of his league. He locked himself up in his room for four weeks trying to make it through. His roommate nearly kicked him out when his anxiety kept him awake at night and so he took advantage of the situation typing schemes and summaries on his laptop. Hinata was a kindhearted boy, but the levels of Tadashi's stress were higher of his openhandedness. He ended up going at 2:00 AM in Kageyama's room, bothering Tsukishima, Kageyama's roommate. In a kind of strange way, his exam seemed to affect everyone and Tadashi felt so much sorry.

He adjusted a lock of brown hair behind his ear and then grabbed the glass of orange juice rested on the table that he had ordered previous ly. He shut down the Exam Results window and turned off his laptop, while sipping through the straw. He was frankly feeling pretty bad and pitiful. How he was supposed to face the others after all the troubling, when he didn't even make it?

«Yamaguchi, do you need something else?»

Waiter's voice, Tanaka-Senpai, brought him back to reality, catching his attention. He mentally used the honorific, because he was a senior although he acted like a fool when his friends were around. He was looking at him, ready to write down the order on his notebook. Tadashi smiled, shaking his head.

«Uhm, no, Tanaka-Senpai. I'm fine, thank you.»

Tanaka seemed dubious and began to tap the cap of his pen on the white paper. He came a little closer to properly scan him, squeezing his eyes, then added.

«Are you sure, Yamaguchi? You remind me a ghost.»

Tadashi laughed, covering his mouth with a hand. He relaxed a bit against his chair, stretching his legs under the table. He put down his juice glass.

«Absolutely.» said softly, tilting his head. «I swear.»

He was obviously lying, but was genuinely moved by Tanaka-Senpai's concern. He began to stress the fabric of his light blue t-shirt, looking away. The black circles around his eyes betrayed him.

«Yeah, sure. A big and full sundae is coming right now.» decided on his own, disappearing from Tadashi's view after that.

«Wait, wh-» Tadashi tried to complain, but a few seconds of tension later, he chose to preserve his efforts, because the day was far from the end.

He sighed. He didn't want to bother anyone and Tanaka-Senpai's life was quite busy. Hinata was one of his favorite boys, a sort of protege, inside of their group of friends. He said to him that their senpai currently lived alone with his elder sister and both of them had to work to manage somehow between the bills and the personal costs. He was extremely mature for his age, even though he liked to play dumb. Well, he said to himself, everybody lies in order to survive. Life sometimes can be unfair.

He put his chin and left cheek in the palm of his hand, mixing his orange juice with the straw. He bit unconsciously his lower lip, thinking about how lucky he was despite everything. His parents burned all the girly clothes that he bought but never wore and hid at the bottom of the closet, but they still paid for his college, because he learned how to say no and stop himself from loving something that he was supposed not to love. At the very beginning Tadashi himself found it strange and tried to hide it. He was ashamed and scared and cried alone in front of the mirror, because he didn't recognize himself in the reflection. His father yelled at him « _You can't be a girl!_ » and in that moment, after and endless mental excursus Tadashi understood. He didn't want to be a girl, he did want to be both. He was doing fine at the moment, but he hadn't found the courage to go shopping again. When he woke up in the morning feeling like a girl, she said to herself that clothes didn't define a person and somehow she got away with it.

He curled a lock of hair around his finger, lost in his thoughts. He didn't notice Iwaizumi sitting in front of him. It took Iwaizumi to call his name twice before Tadashi realized.

«Mh, oh, Iwaizumi-San... !» Tadashi yelled, taken by surprise. «I'm sorry, I was...»

Tadashi began blabbing nervously about something as Iwaizumi lifted his finger to call for a waiter. Tanaka came by after a couple of minutes, putting the sundae in front of a blushing Tadashi and writing down Iwaizumi's order.

«It's okay, Yamaguchi, calm down.» he said, scratching his neck. Tadashi looked at him and he seemed annoyed, but it was just his usual expression.

«Mh, 'kay... Hi.»

Tanaka came back quickly with a cup of coffee for Iwaizumi. He put inside of it a lot of sugar and then mixed.

«Hi again, how you doing?»

Iwaizumi Hajime, 23 years old, Department of Engineering. Perfect grades, perfect attitude and perfect appearance. He was quite a jock and a slut for volleyball, just like Kageyama and Hinata. He was such a good-looking that his locker was always full of love letters, but fortunately he was already taken.

«Very well, how about you, Iwaizumi-San? Oikawa-San?»

Tadashi grabbed his spoon, starting to eat his huge and sticky ice-cream. He was aware that he couldn't have eaten it all.

«Same, thanks. And drop the honorific.» he said drinking his coffee. Tadashi flushed, smiling. He will never be able to drop the honorifics and he didn't want to.

«Speaking of nuisances.» he added «Actually, Crappykawa send me here.»

Tadashi arched his eyebrows, grabbing a tissue to clean his lips. He made a mess with the chocolate. He had it coming.

«Is that so? What happened?» Tadashi asked, holding the tissue before his mouth. Oikawa, or Crappykawa , Trashykawa and Shittykawa , was his adorable boyfriend. Tadashi met Oiwaka first. He was in the Department of Music, but one day he accidentally smashed him against the wall of the canteen. Tadashi's books fell on the floor and Oikawa stopped by to help. He said sorry a lot of times and when their eyes met, Oikawa rhetorically asked « _Say, Yamaguchi-Kun, you're gay, do you?_ ». After that, they became good friends.

«He wants to go shopping with you. He needs some eyeliner and nail polish. You probably know that he will make you buy strange things. If you don't want to go, just tell me.»

It took Tadashi a few to polarize. He swallowed his ice cream and put down the spoon. He figured out that half of his dessert was melted.

«Uhm...» he blabbed, laughing to mask the embarrassment. Just a few of his friends knew about him being genderfluid, but, besides, he didn't something to be obvious, because he was still a little shy. Tadashi of course wanted to buy some pretty skirts and girly t-shirts, but deep down inside he felt still afraid. His parents weren't there, but he never liked to lie.

«It's okay if you don't wanna, Yamag-.» Iwaizumi tried to cheer him up, but Tadashi interrupted him.

«Iwaizumi-San, sorry, I t-think I'll give it a try.» said Tadashi, looking down at his thighs. He squeezed his hands together. If he felt like going, then he would go. He wouldn't have bought anything. Or maybe just a few things. But he wouldn't have worn them. He would have thrown way everything. He promised. No regrets. Just... Once, please .

«Listen, Yamaguchi.» said Iwaizumi after a break of silence. «If you really want to come, because you want to start exploring your sexuality then I'm very happy for you.»

Iwaizumi crossed his arms on the table, putting his empty cup of coffee aside. Tadashi raised his eyes timidly and they stared at each other.

«If you want to come because you don't want to disappoint that crazy boyfriend of mine, then don't push yourself.»

Tadashi smiled, when you _say relationshipgoals_. Together, they were perfect.

«No, Iwaizumi-San, I'm perfectly fine with it.» said again Tadashi, a little more confident than before. His voice wasn't shaking anymore.

«He's like an annoying gay prophet, you know? He just would want to help every gay buddies.»

«Yeah, I know... I figured out.» answered Tadashi.

Iwaizumi pulled out his wallet, putting on the table some cash. Tadashi looked at him and quickly realized that he was going to pay for both of us.

«Iwaizumi-San, pleas-» Tadashi started, but Iwaizumi stood up. He pulled back the wallet in his pocket and came closer.

«Cool, give Oikawa a call, then.» He rubbed his brown hair and Tadashi couldn't be able to respond. Ouch was the only thing that could think of.

«Iw-I'll get angry!»

«Yeah, whatever, bye. See you later.» said Iwaizumi, walking away and waving a hand.

Tadashi pouted, fixing his hair. There were a lot of money. It was too much. Iwaizumi-San was too kind. He sighed, massaging his forehead. From the bottom of the room, Tadashi heard Tanaka yelling at him.

«Hey, Yamaguchi, hurry up and eat your ice cream! It will melt away in a few moments!»

Tadashi gasped, looking back at his dessert. It was already melted, but Tanaka-Senpai and Iwaizumi-San had been too much kind to him. It was a waste of money and time to throw that sundae away. Tadashi didn't care, he would have eaten it anyway.

«Hey, Tanaka-Senpai, do you think it would be possible to take away the sundae in my room?»

 

  
  
Tadashi got back to his room to find it empty. He looked at his phone to realize that maybe Hinata was still playing volleyball at the club with Kageyama. First of all he putted the sundae in the freeze, then threw all of his stuff on the bed, including his laptop. For a while he completely forgot about his failed exam, but it was still there. Tadashi wished to bury all of his issues and insecurities in the abyss of his memory. He also wished to be able to forget them and maybe trying to be a little happier person. The heavy burden of his failures weighed upon his shoulders. And no mattered how hard he tried, Tadashi knew that he wasn't special or skilled enough to get on top of something.

He sat down on the floor, taking off his shoes, then like a snake tried to take off his jeans. He pulled them away with his legs and after a few, his phone buzzed. At least, he said to himself, the floor was cold.

Tadashi grabbed his phones thrown away somewhere between his books and blanket. He read _Oikawa-San_ on the screen and so he proceeded to unlock it.

To: Yamaguchi  
From: Oikawa-San  
  
Yay, Yama-Chaaan! (◕ ꒳ ◕✿ )  
We will have a lot of fun! Meet me at the cafeteria at 04:00 PM. ❤  
  
His SMS made him smile, because no mattered what, he was always funny and cute. He replied quickly, saying thank you and good evening. Maybe he would have met him in the canteen at dinner time, but it was Friday and most of the students preferred to hang out outside during the weekend. About that, Hinata wasn't the type of guy to skip meals or wandering around, so he wondered when he would come back. Maybe there was enough time for him to take a shower.

He stood up, yawing a little. He was about to grab a pair of new underwear when he heard knocking at the door. _Oh, he's here,_ he thought.

Tadashi opened the door without thinking, coming back to take his clothes.

«You're late, Hinata. Were you playing volleyball with Kageyama?»

«Yes, they are indeed playing volleyball but inside of my room and that's driving me crazy.»

Tadashi froze, he was about to take off his shirt and he was actually wearing just a pair of boxer.

«Oh, my God, Tsukki, I'm sorry!» He yelled, trying to pull down his t-shirt and found out his jeans. Where the hell did he throw them? Damn it.

«Nevermind, it's fine.» _It was? Seriously? Hell, no._ «Just, come to bring your roommate back.»

Tadashi didn't replay right away, because he was too busy finding his trousers or something where he could put his legs.

«Yamaguchi, now.» Tsukishima were dead angry and Tadashi gulped. They talked to each other enough to make Tadashi fell for him, but they weren't close.

«Y-Yeah, Tsukki, I'm sorry...» And Tsukishima had a girlfriend, or at least he was dating someone. Kageyama slept over a few times.

«I'm so fucking pissed. Shut up and hurry.» he said, slamming the door and leaving.

Tadashi stared at the wall. Did the shelves just shake? He was so beautiful and such a jerk, sometimes...

«Coming, Tsukki. Anything for you, Tsukki. Thank you, Yamaguchi. You're welcome, Tsukki.» he said before leaving his room, too, mocking himself. 

 

 


	2. Cover your scars with makeup

Tadashi looked himself in the mirror and then checked out the time on the screen of his phone. He was just making sure to have sufficient time in case he changed his mind about what he was currently wearing. He wasn't feeling particularly anxious, but he didn't know what to expect or how he himself would have reacted. He tidied up his room and washed all the clothes in the laundry basket although it was Hinata's turn that morning, distracting himself from the thoughts of the upcoming date agreed with Oikawa-San. He tried to study a bit without being able to focus on his Art book and then he went out for a walk, realizing to cannot stand to keep quiet and fixed on his chair any longer. No, Tadashi could definitely say that he was not afraid or something like that. He was, more than anything else, _excited_. Excited fitted better his state of mind.

He decided to put on black skinny and a simple white t-shirt — maybe a way too much white and kind of _explicit_ , because the fabric seemed almost transparent and the collar was large enough to expose the skin of his neck and shoulders. Hanging on the crutch in the shop made that cooler than on him. Something was off, like out of place, maybe his freckles.

Hinata got out of the bathroom door, wearing his workout clothes. Tadashi turned in his direction, thinking about how his friend looked totally adorable and cute in his uniform as always. He never told him, because he was having a hard time dealing with his short stature. Almost everybody thought of him in that way, though.

«Woah, Yamaguchi!» he yelled, when he took a closer look at his friend. «You're... Bam! Like, gwah! I mean, you look so cool!»

Hinata's enthusiasm seemed to fill up their room. He was radiating light beams. Tadashi had always been amazed by his attitude towards life. His approach was kind of enviable. He never gave up and gave it always a try. He smiled even when he was sad. These were some of the many reasons why Tadashi didn't complain at all when he found out that Hinato Shōyō would have been his roommate.

«Do you think so... ?»

Tadashi flushed, scratching the back of his head trying to dispel the embarrassment. He looked away in a certain inaccurate point of the room.

«Well, of course!»

Hinata grabbed one of his hand and made him do a twirl. Tadashi laughed, feeling a little and pleasant airflow on his belly as his t-shirt spun.

«I was having second thoughts.» Tadashi admitted, when they stopped. Hinata was still staring at him with glowing eyes, like he was a kind of shining supernova. It made him feel 0,10% more confident.

«Oh, don't you dare.» Hinata let go his hand just to grab the cotton bag that was hanging from the chair. It was the bag that Tadashi had previously chosen to take with him. It was already set up with his stuff.

«Here is your bag and now go.» Tadashi tried to respond, but Hinata began to push him out of the main door. It was time to go anyway, but he suddenly felt the urge to adjust the details.

«Don't come back without a skirt.» said Hinata before shouting the door and Tadashi heard him lock it with the key. After a few seconds of total loss, he signed. Looking down at his wristwatch he ascertained to have five minutes to reach the cafeteria, but probably Oikawa-San was already there.

Tadashi put his bag on the shoulder and headed over. He went through the corridor greeting some class mates and then walked quickly down the stairs. The dormitory was an independent structure adjacent to the university, but well-equipped with every comfort. There were a lot of students and a lot of floors, he was on the fifth and scared of the elevators.

At the end of the staircase he heard someone whistle. Tadashi didn't pay attention to the thing until that someone called his name. He turned innocently around, looking for the boy who asked for him.

He saw a smiling mouth, a lot of piercings and then blonde dyed hair. Tadashi internally gasped, Terushima Yūji was sitting on the floor with his friends and he was staring at his direction. The trajectory of his look made him blushed. He immediately thought _pretend not to see them and keep going_ , but running away was a little late.

Tadashi faked a smile, because articulate a sentence had suddenly become hard. Terushima smirked. He was not that bad but a prankster of course. He made Tadashi feel uneasy.

«You look really pretty today.» Terushima raised a hand and slowly put two fingers on both sides of his mouth. He stuck his tongue out between them. His tongue was pierced, too.

_Oh, my God._

Tadashi stopped breathing. He left without saying a word not minding their laughs. It was not the first time but that kind of first time of course. He gripped his hands around his back and rushed where Oikawa-San was.

He found him waiting next to the door, talking with somebody in the meanwhile. They made eye contact before speaking a word and Oikawa grinned, waving his hand.

Tadashi went closer and his friend wrapped his arms around his neck. Oikawa was wearing black eyeliner, as always.

«Yama-Chan but look at you!» and from Oikawa's mouth rolled out so many compliments in almost thirty seconds like « _I can see your nipples, it's super cute._ » and « _If Tsukishima doesn't fuck this pretty ass tonight then he is blind._ » that Tadashi totally regretted not changing his mind.

Oikawa kissed his cheeks and then stepped aside to introduce the guy with whom he was chatting a moment ago. He was tall and pretty skin, with dark hair and blue eyes or maybe a particular shade of green, Tadashi couldn't tell. He was wearing a total black outfit, but he smiled before bowing.

«Hello, I'm Akaashi Keiji from the Department of Biology. Sorry if I joined you at the last minute.» Tadashi bowed, too. He wasn't bothered at all. Akaashi seemed a quite clever person and he was supposed to be it if he liked joining Oikawa's company.

«Don't, it's a pleasure. I'm Yamaguchi Tadashi from the Department of Art.» Tadashi smiled at him. He saw him at school sometimes, but never had the change to talk to him, or a reason to. Tadashi was not that good with making friends.

Oikawa clapped his hands, catching their attention. They both turned his way and he giggled. Tadashi thought that he was way too happy, maybe because he was plotting something weird again.

«Okay, ladies. We're gonna do shopping like the floor was heterosexuality.»

«Like what... ?»

«Like _crazy_.»

 

 

 

«Oikawa-San, I don't think they suit me.»

Tadashi was standing in front of a mirror doubting his matching of clothes for the second time in a few hours. After an exhausting incalculable period of time at a cosmetics and make up shop named Wycon, they moved in that mall; but before moving in that mall, Oikawa spent almost all of his money in multicolored nail polish and black eyeliner. He seemed to get along with the employees that welcomed him like he was a regular costumer. And maybe he surely was. Tadashi didn't even know the existence of that kind of store, to be honest. He rarely put his head out of his house. It was black and pink and smelled like beauty products. It felt nice, but being surrounded by girls made him feeling a little uneasy. Akaashi seemed more comfortable than him, instead. He looked calmly at the set out merchandise and also listened to an employee who explained to him something about the pigments of a new lipstick. Maybe he wasn't even interested, but he quietly listened to her.

As for himself, he nearly touched anything, but outside the shore Oikawa put a pale pink lip gloss in his hands as a gift, the one he kept staring at. He said « _You deserve it, because you're brave._ » and Tadashi thanked him but said anything else. He was not brave at all. If he had been brave, he would have bought it by himself.

«Of course they do suit you, I chose them for you.»

Tadashi was wearing a skirt, a long and black one. It was made of dark fabric up to his thighs and then became of satin. It had a slit all along his right leg and it was way too deep. He sighed, fixing the sleeves of his white blouse. He felt pretty, but lacked of confidence. He never thought of him being graced by beauty and elegance.

«Just get out of the dressing room, Yamaguchi.»

Tadashi did as he was told, putting aside the curtains. He scratched his cheek with the index finger, looking somewhere else. Oikawa covered his mouth with both hands and Akaashi simply smiled.

«Oh, my God, Yama-Chan.» whispered dramatically Oikawa, faking a faint and clinging on Akaashi. He was being dramatic again.

«Yamaguchi-Kun, you look very good.» he said nicely, holding his friend. Tadashi looked at his skirt, pinching it with his fingers. He turned his head left and right to have a proper look at how it fitted in the back and he had to admit that the more he looked at it the more he liked it. He tried to play a little with the slit and watching his leg getting exposed satisfied him somehow.

«Thank you, Akaashi-San.» he said to him, then noticing that Oikawa was putting some other clothes in his basket. He saw a top, maybe, and two short skirts.

«Oikawa-San, what are you doing... ?»

«Remodeling your wardrobe.» he answered very quickly. Tadashi smiled, just hoping he chose the cheapest ones because trying to make him change his mind right now was out of question.

«You know, Yamaguchi.» he began, looking for another top to match with one of the skirts.«You need to surround yourself with beautiful things.»

Tadashi blinked, stopping himself from going back in the dressing room to change himself. It was getting pretty late and Akaashi-San had already received a couple of phone calls from somebody, even though he said them to please ignore the ringing.

He kept quiet, because Oikawa caught him off guard. He seemed to have a serious gaze on his face. It rarely happened.

«It's fine just the way you are.» he picked a pastel pink crop top checking quickly its size, then he put it in the basket. Tadashi would have wanted to say « _Oikawa-San, people are scary._ » if he thought about what _just the way he was_ would have meant. He was not denying who he was, but it was hard if he didn't want to disappoint anyone.

«Yamaguchi-Kun, no pressure. Just think about it.» added Akaashi-San, finding himself in agreement with Oikawa.

Their words had the implicit meaning of « _You can't run away forever._ ». He realized he still had a lot of work to do on himself, but it was enough for him, anyway. It was a kind of controversial situation, but he wanted to stop pretending and being ashamed.

He raised his face, looking at his friends. Akaashi were smiling at him and Oikawa seemed still lost in his thoughts, maybe because he had already experienced that kind of distress over his sexuality and he wanted to help but didn't know how. Was he making him feel _uneasy_?

«Oikawa-San.»

Tadashi tightened the grip with his hand on the curtains of the dressing room. He took a deep breath and then smiled. Oikawa looked back at him.

«Choose me a dress. I want one.»

 

Oikawa chose him a bra, too.  


 

  
Tadashi's wallet would have cried for a while, but at least he felt satisfied. A couple of pink and black bags were hanging from his arms and nobody seemed to care as he walked through the dormitory. He said bye to Oikawa and Akaashi at the cafeteria and then the three of them got separated. Iwaizumi came to pick up Oikawa, Akaashi mentioned something about a date and as for him, he was currently leading to his room.

He put a hand in the pocket and grabbed his phone. It was 07:15 PM and he thought that probably Hinata was still playing volleyball, as always. Tadashi noticed that he send him a message around 06:00 PM maybe during the break, asking if everything was doing alright. He felt a little bad for not noticing it earlier, but decided to quickly typing him an answer anyway. He also needed to remind him to come back in time for the dinner, because dinner ladies disliked latecomers. He was climbing the stairs and with the other hand began to looking for the keys in his bag. A wrong sequence of actions, because he had never been a multitasking guy.

He clashed against somebody while he was trying to spell correctly the words in the message. His bags and phone fell down and he touched his nose taking a step back. Tadashi hoped he wasn't Terushima, then lifted his head and hoped for him to be Terushima.

Tsukishima Kei was looking at him as if he was about to kill somebody. Tadashi gulped. Should he say hi? Say sorry? Just run way from him?

«Goddammit, Yamaguchi.»

He was scary and _sweaty_ and Tadashi just realized that he noticed it because he was shamelessly touching his chest. He took immediately off his hand and bowled since it was his fault.

«I'm terribly sorry, Tsukki!»

One of his skirts came out of the bag and was laying on the floor. Tadashi knelt, putting it back. He knew that Tsukishima was looking. He was expecting to hear him say something awful.

«Move, Gary Stu, I'm in a bad mood.»

Tadashi picked his belongings from the floor. Not even a mention of his skirt? It was more surprising to hear him say that he was in a bad mood. Actually, it was his first time being called Gary Stu and he wasn't too sure it was a compliment. He was always so salty. One time, speaking about something, Okinawa-San said « _Don't trust everything you see, even salt looks like sugar. Besides Tsukishima._ ». He officially died. It was his best quote ever.

«Is everything alright, Tsukishima... ?» in that moment, Tadashi noticed that he was holding some clothes. «Did something happen?»

Tsukishima grunted, adjusting his glasses on the nose.

«I came back from practice to find out Kageyama and Hinata fucking in my bathroom and I need a shower.»

Tadashi blinked. Well, that escalated quickly. Hinata said that there was nothing between his teammate and him. Tadashi knew that he didn't have to trust his words. He cleared his throat.

«Do you... Want to take it in my room?» said Tadashi, because he didn't know how to exactly apologize for both his roommate and him.

Tsukishima seemed to think about it. It was obvious that he preferred to go somewhere else but instead said an annoyed «Yes.» Probably his friends were all out at the moment and it was the best replace that he could ever find in a few minutes.

«Good...»

Tsukishima followed him in his room and Tadashi explained to him where to find the towels and what he needed. Tsukishima nodded and disappeared for about fifteen minutes. In the meantime, Tadashi jumped on his bed and hugged the pillow, trying to be as quiet as he could be. He could hear his own heartbeats and if it would have been possible he would have shut them up, too.

He signed, spacing out for a while, looking at the ceiling of his room. He remembered that he was sending a text and so he grabbed his phone again. He deleted what he had written and started a new one.

To: Hinata ☼  
From: Yamaguchi

You owe me some explanation, boy.

Tadashi giggled. Hinata wouldn't have answered right away, he was currently a little too busy to pay attention.

When Tsukishima got out of the bathroom, he saw Tadashi smiling meaningless at this phone and sighed. Tadashi gasped failing to hide his phone under the sheets. He blushed.

«T-Tsukki, I was, just — Forget it.»

«Yeah, who cares.» said Tsukishima, butting his black shirt up. He moved in front of the mirror, fixing his hair with the gel. Tadashi had to admit that he looked well in black clothes, but he probably was getting ready to go out with his girlfriend. He crossed his legs on the bed, tightening the pillow.

«Are you going out with your girlfriend, Tsukki?» it was not like it made him feel that sad, but he would have liked to have a chance.

«She's not my girlfriend.» said it back Tsukishima. And as his hopes went higher, they lowered again. «I like her tits.»

Tadashi never thought about Tsukishima in that way. It just made him understand that he didn't know that guy, after all.

«Ah, is that so?» he forced himself to laugh, because there was nothing to be upset about, it had been a really great day.

«Do you buy female clothes just for fun, too?»

_So he noticed_ , said Tadashi to himself. He put his chin on the pillow, smiling lightly. He was suddenly feeling somewhat angry. He felt the urge to defend his position, that feeling stood over the fact of being caught with girly clothes in the bags.

«Don't you think that comparing buying female clothes and having sex with a girl is a little bit too rash even for you?»

Tsukishima was putting on his watch, but he stopped. He turned his head in Tadashi's direction, looking at him with an apparently apathetic gaze.

«Fly down, I'm not judging you.» and somehow, with that reaction, Tadashi had answered his question.

Tadashi lowered his head, suddenly his sheets had become much more interesting. He heard Tsukishima moving freely through the room as it was his. He remembered what Oikawa told him a couple of hours ago and he put his hand in the pocket, grabbing the lip gloss. « _You deserve it, because you're brave._ » and this time he wanted to be brave.

«Tsukishima, I'm genderfluid.» Tadashi broke the silence and it seemed like he finally managed to swallow a way too huge bite for his throat. He felt relieved.

Tsukishima didn't even look at him. Tadashi saw him just opening the wardrobe trying to find something that could belong to Hinata. He noticed an orange sport bag and he had no doubt it was his favorite. He took and used it for his dirty clothes. He was clearly not paying attention.

«Tsukki, did you hear what I just said?» asked Tadashi, getting out of the bed. He came closer to him, tying to put a hand on his arm. He seemed focused on something else. Tadashi faced him and realized he was on his phone, checking maybe a message.

«Shut up, Yamaguchi. I did, so?»

From Tadashi's point of view, that was not a question to ask. That was not a question at all. He knew for sure that he was smart enough to know what that word meant.

«Does it — bother you?»

Tsukishima was looking at him with a questionable expression on his face. He seemed not understanding the point. He did not answer back, he signed. They weren't such good friends, Tadashi cannot decode his silences and actions.

«You're a pain.» he said, putting on a leather jacket. «I'm going.»

Tadashi thought it was better to not replicate and end the question there. Tsukishima was an enigma and he had his own way of thinking, but probably he liked him just for that. It was his first time coming out to someone who wasn't literally one of his friends and he had pretended some reassurance. He couldn't blame Tsukishima's character for not showing him a little bit of comprehension. Ignoring him was his way to let him know that it didn't bother him. Harsh, but right.

«Okay, be safe.» Tadashi smiled. «I'll take care of your clothes.»

Tadashi walked him to the door, Tsukishima put a hand on the doorknob but he stopped before opening it. He turned his way, looking him in the eyes.

«Do you want to come?»

«Me?» Tadashi pointed himself pretty surprised, with a vague suspicion of having misunderstood. Tsukishima nodded, instead.

«I'm meeting with my friends. Don't make me repeat myself.»

Tadashi was about to say that he was currently wearing unsuitable clothes to go out, but Tsukishima anticipated him. He grabbed one of the bags that Tadashi had laid on the table when they came in, he looked quickly at the content and then passed to him.

«This is fine.»

Tadashi picked it, but it was the bag with the black long skirt and the white blouse. He was unsure Tsukishima had realized.

«Tsukishi—»

«Don't make me repeat, Yamaguchi.»


End file.
